Horror-themed Ben & Jerry's Parodies

In the wake of my X-rated post on Ben & Jerry's legal dispute with an adult video company comes an R-rated slasher post.

Artwork by Frank Browning.
Made exclusively for freddyinspace.com
as featured on ihorror.com

The folks over at iHorror conceived of a long list of horror film-themed Ice Screams, complete with artwork for the pints. Having never been a horror buff, I'm delighted to see some I can really sink my teeth into honoring some films I enjoy, like American Psycho, The Shining, Ghostbusters and Army of Darkness. What might be even more impressive than the hilarious flavor names are the truly bizarre flavors. They range from horrifying (mint with a cherry swirl) to a tad strange (marshmallow ice cream with fruit swirls) to unexpected-and-curious (cake batter with cherry and almonds) to tasty (pumpkin ice cream with dark chocolate) to YES! TAKE MY MONEY! (Hi-C Ecto Cooler ice cream).

So go read the article. Quick, before I spoil the funny flavor names!


(I do not own any of the content (other than that linked in the first sentence), but I am promoting the iHorror article for it's shared interest with this blog. If anyone connected with iHorror or this content would like me to take any part of this down, I will.)

Lord Stanley's Cup Diddly-Umptious Bracket Bar

The Stanley Cup Playoffs are upon us. Despite some goalie drama--including a record-setting, 42-save performance in Game 1 by back-up goalie Scott Darling--the Chicago Blackhawks defeated their first round opponents, the Nashville Predators.

NBCSN is celebrating this Playoffs by sending out loftily-named chocolate bars. With the bars comes the chance of getting a silver ticket that wins PRIZES! ---------------------------------------> But those who don't get a silver ticket have another chance...another chance to win PRIZES! ------------------------------>

Each bar contains a bracket, containing one of the 32,768 possible scenarios that could play out in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Here's the randomly assigned bracket included with my bar:

With two of the series in the first round still going (Islanders vs. Capitals and Lighting vs. Detroit), my bracket is still completely plausible at the time of this post...except for the glaring error involving my Hawks losing in the first round. But have no fear! I still could win SOMETHING if the predicted winner does indeed go on to win the Cup. And surely Alex Ovechkin will live up to his potential and advance past the conference semifinals...right? Right? (Go Islanders.)

Bracket bungles aside, the actual chocolate bar was nothing to brag about...EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I GOT ONE AND YOU DIDN'T! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

York Castle Caribbean Ice Cream

Despite R.E.M.'s protestations, I have found a reason to go back to Rockville.

Most people don't find themselves in the situation I was in: I'd already sampled ten ice cream flavors and was forcing myself to exercise restraint to keep from sampling more. Such wanton accumulation of one-time use plastic spoons, tsk tsk...and it was Earth Day. But with so many interesting flavors at the Jamaican-owned, tropical-themed York Castle, it was easy to fall into that deliciously indulgent trap, especially when the young man behind the counter was so friendly and enabling. (He was great! We talked about hockey, traveling and more!)

Adventurous eaters will want to explore the handful of totally unfamiliar flavors like Caribbean cherry, lucuma, and mamey sapote. Other exotic flavors are recognizable, but not usually as ice cream, like lychee, guava and soursop. Then some are more familiar, but are far from being same old, same old when York Castle makes them: the milkfat in their mango ice cream doesn't dilute the intensely authentic flavor and when they make ginger ice cream, it is spicy! York Castle also features a secondary list of flavors from the ice cream canon, which I did not even sample. (There's that restraint I was talking about.)

I somehow narrowed my selection down to four flavors. First ginger, which sizzled in my nasal cavity. Next was passion fruit, as tart as hoped. Then came Caribbean cherry, a berry flavor (possibly my Puerto Rican favorite, acerola) whose sweet tartness cut through the milkfat. And last was mango, whose texture and taste were like biting into a hunk of the namesake fruit. Usually better as gelato or sorbet, this was the best mango ice cream I've ever had. (I was sorry to see that they were out of lychee, which serves as yet another reason to go back.)

If you ever find yourself in Rockville, Maryland, or if you are in D.C. and feel like a trip to the 'burbs, don't miss York Castle Caribbean Ice Cream. They may not have a website or an official Facebook page, but you can taste how they put those dollars into the product instead of marketing.

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Another fine place for frozen dessert in Rockville is Carmen's Italian Ice.

Bobtail Year 2: Butterscotch Peanut Brittle

April is month eleven of Bobtail Year 2, during which I receive two pints of homemade ice cream a month from Bobtail.

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Peanut brittle is better than any form of peanut butter. The lingering nutty legume-y flavor and the crunch of whole peanuts far exceeds that of crunchy peanut butter. These qualities are good enough on their own, but enrobe those peanuts in a sugary, caramel-colored, hard to bite, sticky to chew brittle and you have a time-tested dessert that surpasses other salty-sweet trend desserts.

What a fine place to find inspiration for an ice cream flavor. If the goal was to achieve all of the adjectives I've used in the previous paragraph, the ice cream makers at Bobtail can sleep easy tonight for a job well done. From first bite, I started feeling premature sadness for the day this flavor was no longer in my freezer. Rationing it out will be an exercise in discipline.

Saying this is no small compliment. I come from the land of peanuts. Indeed, if I were allowed a final meal from a single place, I would want mine to come from Virginia Diner, ending it with a slice of their warm peanut pie with ice cream on the side. This ice cream flavor captures that moment...without the grim "final meal, about to die" thing.