Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Thanks to dozens of hours spent on the road living a semi-vagabond life, my participation in the pumpkin challenge was at an all-time low this year. It is difficult to cook new recipes when you don’t have a kitchen. Still, the year was not without discoveries. My favorite invention was the oh-so-yummy turkey, cheese and pumpkin butter toasted bagel sandwich.

Last year I consumed 40 pumpkin items between September 15 and October 31, this year I did not even achieve half that number. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Here’s the list:

pumpkin pie, pumpkin bagel, pumpkin cream cheese schmear, pumpkin waffle, pumpkin bread, pumpkin pancake, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin milkshake, pumpkin pecan roll, pumpkin frozen yogurt, squid ink pumpkin and squash ravioli, Snap-o-lantern ice cream, pumpkin whoopie pie, pumpkin spice gelato, pumpkin pie ice cream, pumpkin butter

How did my competitors fare this year? Have I been dethroned?

Cicada Ice Cream

I’d gladly take things that go bump in the night over things that go chirp in my stomach.

When Sparky’s in Columbia, MO created cicada ice cream it became an instant legend, not just for being the most gastronomically grotesque creation of the year, but also for batting a thousand. Only one batch was made and it sold out in just thirty minutes. The store pulled the flavor before it made a second batch because the health department did not give its endorsement; apparently the most hygienic cicada preparation has not been fully researched.

In all seriousness, more spooky than brown sugar and bug ice cream is that anything “not specifically provided for in the local health code” is understood to be illegal. Bureaucratic red flagging in food regulation is the same battle being fought by Nice Cream in Chicago. I’m certainly no authority on the subject, but I worry for the future of small businesses.

(Thanks to Laurie for the tip.)

Cubism or Zombie?

Picasso believed in two things: ice cream and zombies.

In all seriousness, I once went to an ice cream shop in D.C. (which shall remain nameless) that had a huge mural of Guernica, only each of the characters doomed to die in the horrible bombing were holding ice cream cones. Appalled, I remarked to my brother how completely and utterly tasteless the mural was. Loudly, I might add, which probably explains the pay-and-get-out attitude of the proprietor. Whoops.

Hey, the word "zombie" reminds of something! A creative writing curriculum I wrote for elementary schoolers called "Brains! or, Writing with Zombies" was recently published. Money from the sales go into the programs at 826, free after-school tutoring and creative writing centers in several US cities.


Note from 2012: Read some of the amazing and hilarious zombie stories written by my young students as published in 826CHI Compendium Vol. 3!

The Sixth Annual Pumpkin Challenge

This could be your year to win. Your chances are better this year because the reigning champion will be less of a contender. Baffling as it may sound, I will be preoccupied by a number of life events that people claim to be more important than pumpkin season. I mean no dishonor to the Great Pumpkin and hope he will not bypass my patch this year. But ho! Perhaps you are new to the Pumpkin Challenge!

Every year, from September 15 through Halloween, all are invited to consume as many pumpkin foods as possible. So epicurate a cornucopia of new recipes and buy out the grocery. Or, better yet, try and beat my record. Here are the rules:

• The only beverage allowed is the milkshake.
• Food items may not be doubled. (Two slices of pumpkin cheesecake count as one item. The only way it could count for two different items is if the second item has a distinct enough difference of flavor that it warrants a different name AND the item comes from a different source than the first item.)

Why have was the Pumpkin Challenge created?

Originally the short-term goal was to encourage pumpkin season to start earlier than October, since they are mostly only offered around Halloween and Thanksgiving. Happily, this year and last year have shown progress of pumpkin activity in early September! The long-term goal is for pumpkin products year round. If you aren't currently active in the off-season of the Pumpkin Challenge, my hope is your participation will help you branch out into new pumpkin dishes (not just pie, bread and muffins) and give you post-autumnal pumpkin pangs.

Greatest Desserts: Rhubarb & Crème Fraiche Sherbet

I have bonded between bites of a rhubarb cobbler and made lifelong friends. Some would attribute this to my winning charisma, but I know better. When shared, the tartness of rhubarb transforms its consumers into both addicts and a support group. In short, when we eat rhubarb together, we are forever linked. And though these uniting forces cannot be denied, I have found a rhubarb product brings my altruism into question.

Snookelfritz creates seasonal artisan frozen desserts, emphasizing sustainability and using local ingredients. Their pints are sold at Chicago farmers markets and some neighborhood stores. While many of their flavors are nothing short of creative (raspberry-rose petal, roasted strawberry-brown sugar, maple-candied), their Rhubarb & Crème Fraiche Sherbet stands out as being among the finest frozen desserts I’ve ever had.

Though there is never a need to dilute pure rhubarb, this sherbet creates a balance of flavors that (rather that compete with another) seem to ask one another to dance. Unlike the overpowering strawberry with which rhubarb is usually paired, the subtle crème fraiche gracefully lets the rhubarb take the lead while it is whirled round and round. And the texture of the sherbet is the light, soft footing that effortlessly carries your taste buds across the dance floor.

I will say it again: this is one of the finest frozen desserts I have ever had. As I think now, the Brown Butter ice cream at Toscanini’s (in Cambridge, MA) comes to mind as another on this short list, as well as the Mile High Blackberry Ice Cream Pie on Virginia’s Skyline Drive. Snookelfritz’s Rhubarb & Crème Fraiche Sherbet is one for the history books.

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Update: Snookelfritz appears to have stopped being in business. This may or may not be because of the same shutdown that killed Nice Cream.

Chicago Blackhawks Ice Cream: Phase 4

What is Chicago Blackhawks ice cream? As far as I know, no such flavor exists outside my kitchen. Together, gentle reader, we will explore this question to create the definitive Chicago Blackhawks ice cream…even though hockey current events mean we will be enjoying our treat from a dish instead of a cup.

After exploring strictly the visceral elements of hockey in Phase 3, I decided to retreat back into the team color approach taken in Phase 2…or so I thought.

Pictured is black cherry ice cream with brownies, which is not the deep red color I expected. Truth be told, the whole thing was a disaster. (Let’s be honest, though: Bad ice cream is better than “good” almost anything else.) My ice cream maker wasn’t producing anything thicker than a milkshake, I overcooked my brownies and I forgot to put in the white chocolate chunks, an addition my brother suggested to keep the visceral “shattered teeth” motif. But I am not ungrateful; I ate the messy liquid and stuck the leftovers in the freezer, hoping its frozen consistency would be somewhere between soup and a rock. The leftovers, though ice cream, lacked the punch I’ve had in other fruit ice creams I’ve made. The brownies were a fantastic touch, but again the cherry ice cream was yellowish brown, not red. This was easily the low point on the journey to hockey/ice cream marriage.

The Death of Local Chicago Ice Cream?

Finding homemade ice cream in Chicago isn't easy. I can think of only two scoop shops that specialize in homemade ice cream, one gelato place and a few artisan ice cream makers that distribute at farmers markets and grocery stores. But that last category could soon be eliminated.

Friend and fellow blogger, Dawn Xiana Moon, made me aware of this news story. In short, small artisan ice cream makers in Illinois are being targeted by Public Health to maintain the same standards that are held for billion dollar national ice cream makers. These licenses were not mentioned when the businesses were created, so why are they being brought up years later? Effectively, this could end the use of local, organic ingredients and, by doing so, end small business ice cream production in Illinois.

Nice Cream is first on the hitlist. And you can help. You can donate to their Kickstarter page or attend their fundraiser. Also, stay tuned to the Nice Cream website on further instruction for writing a letter to the state.

UPDATE: Dawn has more info.
UPDATE #2 (3/23/2012): Here's the latest.

The Great Waldough Search

Finding doughnuts in Chicago that aren’t from the ubiquitous Dunkin Donuts is not easy. The best reviewed donut place on Yelp (Old Fashioned Donuts) is all the way down on 112th Street and the other major players (Huck Finn and Dat Donut) are at closest 34th! Speaking for northside Chicago, this is unacceptable.

Doughnut Vault heard the call when they opened their River North business, a converted elevator shaft with fancy décor. But while their donuts are meaty, their hour-long lines are frustrating, their options somewhat simple and their supply extremely limited. Happily, Chicago’s Year of the Donut was only getting warmed up.

Dirty Betty’s offers lower-fat, baked donuts with inspired flavor combinations. It’s hard to pick a favorite, but Pomegranate Glaze (top left) wins with me. Another flavor, Ginger with Key Lime Glaze (bottom left), is more citrusy than most pastries hope to be. And the chocolate glaze on their Chocolate Toffee (top right) doughnut is the easily best chocolate topping I’ve ever had on a doughnut. Unlike Doughnut Vault, where the only difference between their yeast doughnuts is the glaze, the doughnuts at Dirty Betty’s are unique from one another in every way and they’re all delicious.

Since Dirty Betty’s lives inside Cookie Bar, I wasn’t at all surprised by the range of options. The daytime business, a 70’s disco cookie joint, makes Jalapeño Chocolate Chip, Red White & Blueberry and, my favorite, the Potato Chip Chocolate Chip cookie. Can’t decide between cookies and doughnuts? Then you should go on Saturday when they make both cookies and doughnuts all day.

How good is Dirty Betty’s? I’ve been making a mental list of best donuts I’ve had, absolutely certain that Dirty Betty’s makes the list.


Note from 2012: I have since tried Dat Donut and in my opinion it wasn't any more special than your average mom-n-pop doughnut shop. Two more Southside locations to go.

Turkish Hospitality

My friend Lisa shared this video of a Turkish ice cream vendor having some fun with a tourist. The scoop-smith’s talents bridge the gap between Cocktail bartender and vaudeville clown. Really quite impressive! Give it a watch.

Literacy, Music and Ice Cream

I believe I’ve discovered the unified theorem:
826CHI + Pitchfork Music Festival = Free Ice Cream

What makes this a unified theorem? Quite simply, if we all united in doing good and good tunes, we would be rewarded with ice cream. What other solution do you need? Though some scientists will miss working with variables, I’m sure most will be very relieved to learn that the unified theorem requires very little math at all. Plus, the unified theorem is delicious.

Perhaps you’re wondering how I discovered this equation. The back story is that 826CHI, a free after-school tutoring and creative writing center, offered a music journalism workshop in which fifth-through-seventh graders were given VIP access at the Pitchfork Music Festival. The students were granted interviews with Neko Case [editor's note: Swoon!], Battles, Das Racist, James Blake, Woods, OFF!, Fleet Foxes, Juliana Barwick, Cold Cave, Sun Airway, HEALTH, Kurt Vile, Zola Jesus, DJ Chrissy Murderbot, No Age, Shabazz Palaces and GSide. And then the students and instructors were visited by the Ice Cream Man, a touring ice cream truck with the simple goals of giving away free ice cream and motivating people to fulfill their dreams. Needless to say, this particular workshop got rave reviews. (This workshop evaluation is particularly amazing.)

I look forward to taking cone in hand and reading the zine that these young journalists produce.

826CHI is a chapter of 826 National, co-founded by writer/publisher Dave Eggers. As of this writing there are eight chapters of 826 nation-wide. So far I have volunteered with 826 Seattle and 826CHI. Methinks 826 Boston will be next.

Best Horchata on the Chicago Northside

32 oz. is never enough at The Famous Taco Burrito.

The first time I tasted horchata was when my dad, an adventurous eater, and my mom, his comic foil in this regard, took us to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place in Pilsen, Chicago’s southside home for visual artists that seek low rent. When he ordered it and I asked about it, he explained with the efficient mastery he usually employs: “It’s good. You should try it!”

Being that I was still in college at VCU and far away from authentic Mexican food, there were no opportunities to have horchata again until I returned to Chicago with my theatre class senior year. Between the L and my first destination, I stopped in a Mexican place (#3 below) and filled up on grub. I shared some horchata with Boren, offering more explanation than my dad had given me: “It’s like a milky rice drink that has cinnamon and almond flavors.” (Note: most horchata contains no milk or lactose.). As his thoughtful tasting went underway, his eyes grew to Muppet size.

Through the duration of our stay in Chicago, Boren and I stopped for horchata at every opportunity we could, which amounted to twice or more a day. Doing this we concluded that not all horchatas were mixed equal and that one should be aware of a few things:

• As with most Mexican food, the best comes from hole-in-the-wall tacquerias.
• Ice only waters it down, so request no ice. The drink is kept cold and doesn’t need it anyway.
• If you are being charged more than $2.50 (for a 44 oz.), you are being ripped off by people who likely don’t even know how to make a good horchata. (Signs of bad horchata include: chalkiness, plastic or Styrofoam taste, flecks of poorly mixed ingredients.)

While horchata was available a few places in Seattle, it was not until I moved to Chicago that it was elevated from beverage choice to lifestyle choice. Horchata is the sermon I preach to any willing stomach. I have tasted it here, there and everywhere (if “everywhere” were “Chicago’s northside”). And with this knowledge, I can pass on to you, beloved reader, my list of the best horchata on the Chicago northside.

(1) The Famous Taco Burrito – NE corner of Western and Addison
(2) La Pasadita – South of Division on Ashland
(3) Taco Burrito House – South of Irving Park & Broadway

Some pictures leave us without any words.

I think it’s fair to say that I wear my heart on my sleeve. That being said, I have never felt the need to have it tattooed on my arm or, to an even lesser degree, tattooed on my face. Unsurprisingly, Gucci Mane, processes life differently than I.

Back in January, the rapper, who famously wears a chain around his neck with an ice cream cone on it, celebrated his release from a mental institution by getting a brand new tattoo. On his face. Of an ice cream cone. With lightning bolts coming out from it. Someone may have had too many sprinkles on his sundae.

Along with the now infamous Twitter photo (linked above), an artist’s recreation of Mr. Mane (and his ink) serves as cover art for his latest release, The Return of Mr. Zone 6. The lyrics of “Mouth Full of Gold” give us a little insight: “Ice cream on my face and chain ‘cause that's the life that I live, shawty."