“Tracey Jordan Almond—ooh, or Muffin Top!” suggested the Wednesday issue of Chicago’s Red Eye. With so many quotable moments in the show’s seven season run, there were endless creative possibilities for the new flavor. Here are some favorites my friends and I imagined.
- Walnut Bar Mitzvah, a super-nutty walnut brownie ice cream with fudge werewolves and a caramel swirl.
- Mind Grape, an ice cream (chocolate?) with raisins and fudge brains.
- Deal Breaker, a strawberry ice cream with chocolate broken hearts and brownies.
- Jackie Jormp Chomp.
- Food Ball, a flavor that is literally more chunks than ice cream, throwing in EVERY variety of chunk offered in Ben & Jerry's other flavors.
- Spaceman Lemon (Spa-cheh-mun Leh-mun), a lemon ice cream with space dust (Sour Patch kid dust) and white chocolate spacemen.
- What the What, which mixes any bizarre combination of flavors, like coffee and waffles. (Obviously, this idea was still in the development stages.)
- Night Cheesecake.
- Ghost Meat.
- Sabor de Soledad, a flavor somehow inspired by Liz Lemon’s favorite brand of cheese curls, which contain the crucial ingredient of bull semen.
Nope. The flavor they are releasing in the spring is…drum roll…Liz Lemon Greek Frozen Yogurt. That’s right, the Ben & Jerry’s creative department watched “30 Rock” and invented Lemon Froyo, a truly revolutionary flavor. Idiots. And while any devoted fan who read Bossypants knows that Tina Fey has Greek heritage, her character Liz Lemon would never, ever choose frozen yogurt for fear it might be less fattening or less delicious than ice cream. Never. Ever.
Ah, well. I guess I’ll just blame it on Lutz.