Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Bobtail Year: Wrath

Eat the chocolate. Crush the others into powder to throw into an enemy's eyes.
August is month three of my Bobtail Year, two pints of Bobtail Homemade Ice Cream a month for donating to Oracle Theatre.

Revenge is a wrath-filled act so sweet that one cannot help eating spoonful after spoonful. This is also the case with Bobtail's flavor, Wrath. Here's their teaser: "The next in our Seven Deadly Sins series will make your taste buds spite you after the very first bite. With a fiery touch of cayenne and crushed black pepper tossed into chocolate and mixed with cinnamon-fudge flakes, you'll only rage for more!!"

I am no stranger to spicy chocolate and, like last month's Lust, this one distinguishes itself from the others. If last month's seductive flavor was a lover, this month's is a fighter. Cue Guile's theme from Street Fighter II...
ROUND 1: FIGHT! This might be the spiciest ice cream I've ever eaten. It throws fireball after fireball and, once the hadouken-level heat begins, it doesn't leave. The flavor punishes the eater with each dragon punch to the jaw, but us Seven-Time-Sinners are all gluttons for everything, even punishment. But, while the pummeling comes swiftly and steadily like a hundred hand slap, I cannot help but appreciate a master at work. Texturally, this isn't just a chocolate ice cream with fudge flakes mixed in. It has an intriguing earthy texture that adds depth to the chocolate. They say death is in the details and, in this case, that death comes from the black bits flecked throughout the base.

ROUND 2: FIGHT! With seasoned fighters, each blow is crafted to destroy like a sumo smash. Including cinnamon in the flakes makes a recognizable mix-in (chocolate flakes) actually increase (not defuse) the burn, turning it into a weapon. This secret attack is both devious and delicious. As each cold bite melts away, it leaves behind some chocolate-cinnamon flakes for me to ponder as I stand their dizzily with them melting on my tongue. Naked, the flakes offer a complex flavor that suggests mocha, a sweetness that is followed by earthy bitterness and the texture of coffee grounds. Like a sonic boom, the calm comes before a much louder end, and with this flavor the end is always a roundhouse of heat.

Here comes a new challenger.
(Suddenly and inexplicably, the game console bends time and space enabling a Mortal Kombat crossover...)

FINISH HIM!! Having barely survived the spinning pile driver of the ice cream and the flakes, I somehow get myself to my feet for what I know will be the last time. Woozy and barely conscious, I still feel the steady burn I've been feeling since I first got hurricane kicked in the mouth. It might be my swollen jaw, but it feels like the heat is crescendo-ing from yoga fire to yoga flame, even in this short reprieve from getting my pixelated butt handed to me. I look at my opponent and think I could take one more bite of the cold, cold ice cream, because that will cool things down again, right? Couldn't be more wrong. Bam. Zow. One last dragon punch right in the kisser.

CONTINUE? Wrath stands over me. I flinch to protect my black and blue face and hear it say, "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance." And I wonder, "What the heck does Sheng Long ice cream taste like?"

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