Friday, September 27, 2013

Bobtail Year: Cubby Crunch

The taste is somewhere between sweet victory and redbrick with an ivy garnish.
Image made using Wrigley Field sign generator

September is month four of my Bobtail Year, two pints of Bobtail Homemade Ice Cream a month for donating to Oracle Theatre.

So far during my Bobtail Year I have reviewed short-run flavors that have only been available for a week or so. This month, I revisit my favorite year-round Bobtail flavor, Cubby Crunch. How good is it? Well, before I give you the play-by-play, it's time for another ice-cream-themed song.

Lemme hear ya! Ah-one! Ah-two! Ah-three!

Take me out to get ice cream

Take me out to Bobtail
Buy me a big bowl of Cubby Crunch,
Spoil my dinner, I'll eat it for lunch
Cause it's chocolate chips, rainbow sprinkles
Toffee, Oreo chunks

Give me ONE, TWO, THREE tasty scoops
Of that Cubby Crunch!
...Let's get some cones!

We're broadcasting live from inside the Friendly Confines of Bobtail Ice Cream. The summer may be over but fans are hungry for more. More baseball and more ice cream! And there's no better way to wrap up the season than right here, enjoying some Cubby Crunch.

Batting at the top of the line-up is the VIC himself, Vanilla Ice Cream. It's no secret to fans everywhere that throughout his career, the VIC has been been a solid foundation for pretty much every flavor he's played for. And his tenure with Cubby Crunch may be a highlight of its storied career. A line-drive single with no outs.

Batting second, we have Chocolate Chip. Though an MVP when he's played for other flavors, Chippy has had some trouble performing with Cubby Crunch. When asked about Chip's lacking performance, manager Robert "Bob" Tail had this to say: "We're a championship flavor and that's what counts. Not every batter in the line-up can be an all-star." I guess the Chipster has been a little overshadowed by his incredible teammates, but we're glad to have him. Sacrifice bunt. One out, runner on second.

The flavor used to be dyed Cubby blue.
Bobtail nixed it to be more natural.
Batting third is a flashy, youthful player we all know. Every time Rainbow Sprinkles has made an appearance it's been like fireworks. When he debuted with Cubby Crunch, he showed
the same sweetness his brother Jimmy has been known to bring to other teams. Rainbow hits a stand-up double, advancing The VIC to third. One out.

In the clean-up spot is Oreo. Now this guy may seem like a tough cookie, but inside he's just a big softy. And I mean literally: scouting reports say he's a sandwich cookie with a sweet and creamy middle. He's easily the chunkiest player Cubby Crunch has, but he's a perfect team player, never stealing the spotlight for too long. Intentional base on balls. Bases loaded with two outs to go.

Batting fifth is Cubby Crunch's best kept secret, Toffee. With Chocolate Chip not creating the impact everyone expected for the team, Toffee has more than picked up the slack. It's still a little early to say, but I wouldn't be surprised if this player ends up being the MVP. Crack of the's going...going...gone! Toffee hits a grand slam! Cubby Crunch wins! Cubby Crunch wins!


Anonymous said...

If the third batter hits a "stand up" double when the leadoff batter is on first, the leadoff batter is going to score every time! So it's an RBI for Rainbow Crunch, and a nothing-to-be-ashamed-of 3 Run Homer for Toffee!

Of course, this is a flavor named after the Cubs, so maybe you DID get it right.

Brian said...

I did the last comment, not sure why it says anonymous.

Brad @ IceCreamUScream said...

In my mind, the stand-up double with no RBI was the product of the outfielder making an heroic throw home to halt the VIC at third. This all seemed a tad too much detail for an imagined baseball scenario within an ice cream blog. Though it doesn't always make it into my posts, I have a very rich inner-life.

Other questions you may have: Who are they playing against? A team of molars. How do ice cream mix-ins play baseball? It has some similarities to tee ball and utilizes a catapult/trebuchet made of plastic cutlery. What positions does each ingredient play in the field? A delicious one.