Friday, June 12, 2015

Häagen-Dazs Artisan Collection

I'll review the flavors, but first a little history:

Once upon a time, there was a line of Häagen-Dazs products known as the Häagen-Dazs Reserve Series. It took the concept of super premium pints of ice cream and elevated it even further with niche flavors. But the timing was off. Just a year after this line premiered, the housing market crashed, which made the higher-end-yet-affordable luxury of $5 pints of ice cream seem a tad absurd. And, sadly, as the economy went south, it took the Häagen-Dazs Reserve Series with it.

Years later in 2013, Häagen-Dazs would introduce a new line of products that played off their elegant branding and the idea of something high end, Häagen-Dazs Gelato. This line offered products with almost identical ingredient lists to each corresponding ice cream flavor, but with a smoother texture. The catch was the one notable new ingredient was high fructose corn syrup, which accounted for the texture and the disgusting flavor. This series, which somehow still exists, is gross. That this was what the company put out the same year it ended its Five line (ice cream made with only five ingredients, meant to have a "more natural" appeal) is criminal.

This year, Häagen-Dazs premiered yet another new line, the Häagen-Dazs Artisan Collection, which I'm happy to report is better than the Gelato line, even if it falls short of the Häagen-Dazs Reserve Series. The aim is boasting collaborations with lesser-known artisan dessert makers (only one of which I've heard of before) to create unique flavors. Below, I have reviewed the five flavors that do not contain the fruit that shall not be named, ordered from least desirable to most:

Applewood Smoked Caramel Almond, a collaboration with San Diego's Praline Patisserie®
One bite in and you think, "This is...interesting. It is! It's really....different. A bold, new choice for an ice cream flavor." Two bites in and you think, "That was a fun exercise. What else is in the freezer?" The ice cream enrobing the smoked almonds isn't enough to make the savory smoked flavor feel like a dessert.

Chocolate Caramelized Oat, a collaboration with San Francisco's Clairesquares®
The caramel flavor of this ice cream is over-the-top, but at least it covers the flavor of the bargain bin chocolate that coats the oats. The texture of the oats, which is neither crunchy nor chewy, doesn't add much even though the mix-in is unusual.

Tres Leches Brigadeiro, a collaboration with NYC's My Sweet Brigadeiro™
Pictured on this carton is what appears to be like a spherical cookie dipped in chocolate. It looks delicious. It must be the "brigadeiro" thingie the flavor name suggests. This is what you'll think until you are a few bites in and you realize there are no cookies here. You read the back of the package and it says the brigadero has been melted down...and Wikipedia says a brigadeiro is basically a piece of chocolate...and it occurs to you that tres leches literally means three milks...and you slowly realize Häagen-Dazs just sold you a $5 pint of pretentious fudge ripple. I mean, it's good, it's rich, but it's a $5 pint of fudge ripple.

Ginger Molasses Cookie, a collaboration with Brooklyn's The Good Batch®
The clear winner of the bunch. The ice cream is a refreshing bite to eat and has the slightest spicy kick. It claims the ice cream is vanilla cinnamon, but the taste of the ginger bleeds over. The cookie mix-in, which has the crunchy/crumbly texture of the cookie in a Twix bar, adds a diversity to the texture, but not much flavor except for the times it houses a tiny bit of crystallized ginger.

Spiced Pecan Turtle, a collaboration with Christopher Elbow Artisanal Chocolate™
The chocolate ice cream is not the powerhouse, sock-to-the-jaw flavor I hoped for (and Häagen-Dazs has had in the past), but the spiced-caramel swirl and the pecan clusters make up for it in spades. The spices have a wintery quality to them as well as a tiny kick of picante. This is also the only flavor in the new line whose collaborator I'd heard of, thanks to Chocolopolis.

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