For years I have failed to comprehend people’s obsession with Cold Stone. Without getting too heated on the subject, I will say that my complaint has always been that they give you melty ice cream. Who knew this character trait is actually a ringing endorsement? But I am a humble man. I will admit now, despite my otherwise elite taste in frozen desserts, that I have been incorrect about rejecting melty ice cream. I still maintain my preference for other parlors, though, and will not be going to Cold Stone anytime soon. …If I ever want soup, however, I know where to go. (Zing!)
I am a savage in one other way, too:
- Unlike some connoisseurs, I do not eat my ice cream with an overturned spoon. Eating that way has always proved awkward for me—perhaps a bit too intimate.
- Though it is less desirable amongst most of the elite, I actually enjoy the chill of a metal spoon.